I Testify of Tears and Donuts by staff
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on April 19, 2008 |
Miracles have long been misunderstood to be a parting of seas, or the booming voice of an omniscient deity. The scriptures are a source of many such miracles, but not all miracles are so apparent in the lives of contemporary Latter-day Saints. I testify of the smaller miracles; the workings of our beloved Heavenly Father that prove He is all around us. I testify that the smaller miracles, the personal witnesses that only mean something to us individually are the ones that are most important.As a daughter of an alcoholic and abusive father, I’ve seen my share of horrors in this life. The greatest of all was my loss of my ability to cry. I stopped believing in sensitivity, and being conscious enough of my own feelings to weep. My defense mechanism cost me dearly, and I soon began to be swept away in a life that I could only perceive as a tragedy. I could not feel God’s embrace when I needed it most, and I tried to fill my void in any way I possibly could. It led me down a path of promiscuity and self abuse. I needed a change in my life, but I had no idea where to turn.
I testify of donuts; of Heavenly Father’s ability to know even our basest desires, and to use them to find us. I was invited to come to church with a Baptist friend of mine when I was a freshman in high school. At first I declined, until she countered with the free donuts they always had with their morning services. So began my spiritual quest for peace.
I testify of tears; a gift from our Father in Heaven, they signal to us when He is nearest. As I began to attend the Baptist services, I realized that their services were lacking something I needed. Something I craved. Unfortunately, my search wasn’t over, but I was out of places to go. I had only ever known Protestant and Catholic Christianity. Neither felt complete, and I mourned that realization for many weeks. I willingly shed the first tears I had cried in years, and I knew my God was with me. I knew He would guide me to what I was searching for, which was the first of many miracles I would experience. Hold on, the Spirit pleaded with me, and I went quietly.
I testify that Christ lives, and because he suffered for all of us, we have His Spirit to be with us. His Spirit led me down a path that I never would have found on my own. I met the first LDS members I had ever seen, and they were the most remarkable and peculiar people. They didn’t swear. They didn’t drink caffeine. They were kind, considerate, and generous. Love radiated from their actions and countenances that touched the marrow of my bones, the void in my soul. They had what I needed, whatever it was, and I knew I needed to find out more.
I testify that actions speak louder than words. I was bombarded with words as I attempted to find out more about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Words from my pastor and Sunday school teacher, words from my Baptist friends, from my LDS friends. Words from all sides made it hard for me to even think. But what spoke louder than everything else was the openness, the kind-hearted spirit that the Saints extended to an outsider like me. I felt accepted I had gotten past a boundary with these people that I hadn’t gotten through with the Baptists in the months I had been with them. I didn’t understand why. I only knew that I was getting a message that I couldn’t accept. Mormonism was growing on me, and if there was anything I had learned, being a Mormon was not an easy thing to be.
I testify that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church of Christ, and that His Spirit presides over their meetings. I attended a Sunday service in an LDS church in March of 2006, and for once I was not a bystander. The Spirit finally touched me! I cried tears of joy that I recognized the second they touched my face. “I’m home! I belong HERE, and I’m never going to leave!” Before I heard talks from any of the speakers, before I learned anything about the Book of Mormon, about LDS doctrine, I knew without a doubt that the church would be my home all the days of my life.
I testify that baptism is a miracle, and that baptism into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a covenant for all eternity. I testify that because of my baptism, I was clean for the first time in my life. It has taken me my first year as a faithful member to accept that the scars I accumulated and created before my baptism were truly washed from me. I no longer need to look back and be turned to a pillar of salt. And because of this realization, I do what I can to teach others that they too can be clean.
I testify of the Prophet Joseph Smith, that “we don’t have to meet him to know he’s a prophet.” I have come to know him so completely because of my own trials. The persecution, a feeling that there MUST be something more than what the world has to offer, the added opposition of being a teenager; I have known those struggles. The faith despite terror and sacrifice; I have known it. And because a 14 year old boy said a prayer over a hundred years ago, thousands of people walked across a continent, and my life 3 generations later will never be the same! I love the Prophet Joseph Smith, and I look forward to that day when I might meet him on the other side of that veil.
I testify of the Scriptures, the Bible and The Book of Mormon. I have had my life touched by both. The Bible has demonstrated to me that to write is truly a miracle because of the hope that can last for thousands of years and countless generations. The Book of Mormon has espoused the loving voice of my Heavenly Father ever since I started reading it, and I know that it’s true.
Finally, I testify of prayer. Prayer might just be the biggest miracle of all, the most important miracle that man has ever known. Imagine; an all powerful, all knowing, all seeing deity cares enough about me to listen to me personally. He loves me enough to hear my plea, so that He can bless me with peace. All because he WANTS the chance to love a sinner like me. He’s joy is with our joy, and He only wants to take us there; to the place of joy we cannot fathom.
I testify of miracles, Brothers and Sisters, because without them, none of us would believe.
